systems

Way too often I’m caught in the middle of feeling like I have all the time in the world and having no time at all. It’s ridiculous to say that at 23 I feel like I have no time but life has a tendency to not follow a schedule, and I don’t really know when I’ll “expire”". I think my art is forever to be intertwined with that idea, that any day my list of works will come to an end and it’s not for me to know when. So, I have this constant worry of creating to uphold my legacy and what does that even look like? How can I leave my essence behind in a way that represents my life, my anxieties, my hopes, my struggles. In the same way I’m forced to think of my legacy as something that becomes an insight to what it’s like to be a human existing in this time period. The world has really progressed in ways our primal brains can’t keep up with, we’re at the bridge between technology and humans becoming one, really.

I always think about how I was a part of the last generation to experience having a flip phone. As pretentious as it sounds and I don’t mean to undermine generations who come after me, it feels so significant. We’re all going through a reprogramming and I often wonder what that will mean for the human experience and how I can be a part of documenting that. I can feel our collective attention span dwindling, is it what we need in order to navigate the changes we have to face during this lifetime? Will we need this sort of brain chemistry to tackle climate change and all of the struggles it will bring? Does the feeling of time being fluid play a part in this? I feel like everyone I talk to mentions how time is flying and slowing so sporadically in their own experiences. It’s all so overwhelming in the context of our day-to-day lives, living so distracted and in the dark about much of the world around us. It’s hard to even consider.

I wish for my art and my life to be a testament to the human experience and how we grow and regress and adapt to external factors. I want to highlight the whole part of regressing and how entropy is one of the few guarantees we have. Embracing entropy and using it as a tool instead of treating it like an anchor is vital, understanding that every system is designed to fail is an opportunity to reevaluate those systems frequently. My personal systems surrounding creating have really forced me to realize this. I think that I can be this artist that is dedicated to upholding all of these ideals of but entropy returns to me everytime and teaches me that if this is something that I am serious about I have to dedicate the time to supporting those systems that allow me to create.

Anyways enjoy some sketchbook scans from today